November 5th, 2009

Time: 12:58 am

urbla: do you want to play 20 questions viivadavis: yes urbla: okay do you want to be the one guessing or the one being guessed against viivadavis: i guess i will be the one being guessed against urbla: okay urbla: are you an animal place or object viivadavis: oh i know how to play this viivadavis: object urbla: oh jesus urbla: it's not that hard we've talked about this before urbla: it's just you think of something viivadavis: god just shut up and ask another question urbla: i ask 20 questions viivadavis: i sai di KNOW viivadavis: HOW TO PLAY IT viivadavis: you dont need to explain it viivadavis: god damnit do you even read urbla: but you can't object urbla: you have to allow it viivadavis: i am an object viivadavis: that was a terrible joke urbla: no it wasn't urbla: it was good shut up viivadavis: ya it was urbla: anyway urbla: no it was good urbla: are you electronic, motor, or have no moving parts? viivadavis: have no moving parts viivadavis: kind of urbla: well you have no moving parts or you have moving parts viivadavis: i guess no urbla: ok viivadavis: god you take forever thinking of questions urbla: are you something that is in a normal household viivadavis yes urbla: sorry i'm multitasking I'll try to focus more here urbla: okay are you outside or inside a household viivadavis: depends urbla: like lawn or inside the room viivadavis: can be both urbla: hm ok urbla: Are you also something that is in most apartments? viivadavis: yes urbla: Are you more likely to be in a living room, a bedroom, or a dining room? viivadavis: bedroom urbla: Are you an object that is used for sexual pleasure, exercise, or just decoration? viivadavis: all three urbla: son of a fuck okay urbla: are you made out of wood, plastic, rubber, or steel? urbla: in your most common usage viivadavis: no urbla: are you made out of plastic or are you organic? viivadavis: organic urbla: are you something people commonly eat viivadavis: i wouldnt say that viivadavis: i mean you can eat me viivadavis: but i wouldnt recommend it urbla: do you grow off a tree or from seeds? viivadavis: a seed, i guess urbla: this doesn't count as a question, but "i guess" isn't really fair, do you mean it sometimes comes from a seed and sometimes does not or what viivadavis: i mean it's kind of a seed viivadavis: some people call it a seed urbla: okay fine I'll take that urbla: is it cum viivadavis: no urbla: damnit I shouldn't wasted a guess on that risk viivadavis: was that your last question urbla: no I have three more, wait let me check urbla: wait no I have 6 left viivadavis: ok go on urbla: is it something that comes from an animal or human viivadavis: yes urbla: does it come from both an animal and human viivadavis: why would you waste a question on that. that was the exact same questoin you just asked viivadavis: it was only a clarification question viivadavis: and by "yes" you should have assumed i meant both animal and human urbla: i realized I should have specified beforehand, but if I didn't know the difference I could more easily go the wrong path viivadavis: whatever i dont care youre down to 4 urbla: is it something that only females produce, or only males produce? viivadavis: males urbla: is it needed to produce a child with a female viivadavis: yes urbla: goes it come from the groin region urbla: er does viivadavis: yes urbla: okay I only have one more so I have to make a guess now viivadavis: ok urbla: is it semen viivadavis: what. urbla: oh is that not it viivadavis: no you fucking idiot viivadavis: god urbla: what the fuck was it viivadavis: a penis urbla: um

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November 3rd, 2009

Time: 05:32 pm

viivadavis: this fish tikka masala is made with mahi mahi viivadavis: mmmmm nadia: ugh nadia: amir was talking about that nadia: earlier viivadavis: did he eat some nadia: I DONT KNOW nadia: HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THAWING OUT MAHI MAHI viivadavis: he doesnt have any mahi mahi viivadavis: ok stop yelling viivadavis: so scary nadia: THE REASON I AM TYPING IN CAPS IS BECAUSE IM RENDERING viivadavis: ok that was really random viivadavis: did you expect me not to have a reaction to your suddent change from lowercase to caps nadia: I AM USED TO PEOPLE DOING THAT nadia: I ASSUME THEY ARE RENDERING nadia: SO THEREFORE viivadavis: ok no nadia: YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ASSUME I AM RENDERING viivadavis: you act as if i am yelling at you when i am on caps nadia: NO I DONT viivadavis: yes you do nadia: IT IS NOT THE WAY YOU TYPE IT IT IS WHAT YOU TYPE nadia: LIKE nadia: "SHUT UP" viivadavis: no viivadavis: wrong again! nadia: OK SOMEONE IS ARGUMENTATIVE TODAY

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Time: 08:45 am

nadia: ok just to let you know nadia: http://www.diluted.us/IMAG0084.jpg nadia: that is what your apartmenet looks like right now

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October 29th, 2009

Time: 09:58 am

kinetik: o hewwo viivadavis: hai viivadavis: wat u do kinetik: nuffz kinetik: chilld kinetik: u kinetik: u viivadavis: wat viivadavis: do da dishez bitch kinetik: u dewm viivadavis: nawl kinetik: orly kinetik: CAN U STRAIGHTEN MI HARE kinetik: i got the chemicalz kinetik: i just donno how to dew it viivadavis: um. viivadavis: i don' tknow how to do it either kinetik: wot viivadavis: ask jiz jiz kinetik: yes u dew kinetik: reed the instrukshinz viivadavis: she knows more about salon things im sure kinetik: wat viivadavis: ok why cant you read the instructions viivadavis: you stupid fuckng bitch kinetik: cuz i kan kinetik: i just kant dew it miself kinetik: u want sum eggiez kinetik: with broccoli

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October 21st, 2009

Time: 01:18 pm

A woman came in and sat opposite him, a prim, respectable female, with a little girl. The little girl observed the basket with interest: "Nasty little insect," thought Daniel. The basket miaowed, and Daniel started, as though he had been caught in the act of murder. "What is it?" asked the little girl in a shrill voice. "Hush," said her mother. "Don't annoy the gentleman." "It's cats," said Daniel. "Are they yours?" asked the little girl. "Yes." "Why are you taking them about in a basket?" "Because they're ill," said Daniel mildly. "May I see them?" "Jeannine," said her mother, "mind what you're saying." "I can't show them to you, they're ill, and rather savage." "Oh," said the little girl in a calm, insinuating tone; "they'll be all right with me, little darlings." "Do you think so? Look here, my dear," said Daniel in a low, hurried voice, "I'm going to drown my cats, that's what I'm going to do, and do you know why? Because, no longer ago than this morning, they clawed the face of a pretty little girl like you, who came to bring me some flowers, and now she'll have to have a glass eye." "Oh!" cried the little girl in consternation. She threw a terror-stricken glance at the basket and clung to her mother's skirts. "There, there," said the mother, turning indignant eyes upon Daniel. "You must keep quiet, you see, and not chatter to everyone you meet. Don't be frightened, darling, the gentleman was only joking." Daniel returned her look placidly. "She detests me," he thought with satisfaction. Behind the windows he could see the gray houses gliding by, and he knew that the good woman was looking at him. "An angry mother. She's looking for something to dislike in me. And it won't be my face." No one ever disliked Daniel's face. "Nor my suit, which is new and handsome. My hands, perhaps." His hands were short and strong, a little fleshy, with black hairs at the joints. He spread them out on his knees ("Look at them - just look at them"). But the woman had abandoned the encounter; she was staring straight ahead of her with a crass expression on her face; she was at rest.

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October 17th, 2009

Time: 11:27 pm

urbla: shouldn't he be there now viivadavis: yah he should viivadavis: mebe doesnt want to hang out viivadavis: anytmore urbla: ye prob not viivadavis: ugh viivadavis: then he could have called and said nothing was going on anymore urbla: is he there yet viivadavis: no urbla: want me to callhim and talk to him viivadavis: no its fine you wouldnt understand what he was saying urbla: why viivadavis: cause he talks really strangely urbla: like how viivadavis: like a mexican from the south side urbla: god urbla: no wonder you want to fuck him urbla: sounds exotic viivadavis: yah i know viivadavis: oh here he is urbla: bai good luck\ viivadavis: lol omg viivadavis: he just sent me a text viivadavis: for the first time viivadavis: and it says "I didnt 4get bout you" urbla: dude you are so getting laid tonight urbla: sadly, by someone who txts like that urbla: but still urbla: dick is dick

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October 12th, 2009

Time: 07:48 pm

viivadavis (7:36:49 PM): i have a philosophy exam tomorrow and i have not read any of the material all semester viivadavis (7:36:52 PM): and i hvae not begun to study yet. JuiceL4 (7:37:49 PM): are you nervous about the exan JuiceL4 (7:37:50 PM): exam viivadavis (7:40:40 PM): no but i dont know any of the material cause i didnt read it. but we can use our computers for the essays, which means i can type out notes and quotes from the material if i skim it viivadavis (7:40:48 PM): and use those and BS the rest JuiceL4 (7:41:20 PM): yeah, true viivadavis (7:45:28 PM): do you have faith that i will do well on this exam JuiceL4 (7:45:40 PM): yes JuiceL4 (7:45:46 PM): if there is one thing you are good at JuiceL4 (7:45:48 PM): it is bullshit

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Time: 06:49 pm

viivadavis: if you were kind of fat and somone was asked to describe you in one word and they chose "well-fed" would you be offended urbla: gsz urbla: yes viivadavis: y viivadavis: if you were a homeless person who was of average size and someone was asked to describe you in one word and they chose "well-fed" would you be offended urbla: I'd probably be a little confused viivadavis: like if they were implying that you were well-fed for a homeless person viivadavis: like that you were kind of fat for being homeless urbla: just stop making fun of homeless people jesus viivadavis: no i'm not i'm just trying to figure out in what context being called "well-fed" would be an insult, and if it could be a compliment urbla: nobody takes well fed as a compliment unless you are talking about their bear viivadavis: what. viivadavis: i need more coffee urbla: you accidentally just typed that to me

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October 3rd, 2009

Time: 06:22 pm

kinetik: where are you going at 9 kinetik: charlies house? kinetik: little slut viivadavis: yez kinetik: i bet ur gonna die of aids kinetik: that would be funny kinetik: lolz viivadavis: i no lol kinetik: and aliya and nadia are like gona die from a nuclear blast in new york kinetik: and ill be the only one left kinetik: then ill sue everybody who made you guys die kinetik: and get money kinetik: and then ill be set for life kinetik: til i get hit by the blue line kinetik: after adrienne pushes me kinetik: for my money kinetik: that igot from your guys deaths viivadavis: and then she'll get married to someone else who will carve her up and cook her kinetik: yes viivadavis: and he will use the money to flee out of the country kinetik: and his plane will crash and he will die kinetik: and the bank will get to keep the money kinetik: thats the circle of life kinetik: oo that reminds me viivadavis: wat kinetik: the lion king

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September 29th, 2009

Time: 09:56 pm

viivadavis: was this salad honestly $10 kinetik: yes Auto-response: viivadavis is away (9:51:27 PM): boi, me a fie go leedat town ere ya no, cuz it too HOT viivadavis: i could poop out a better salad than this viivadavis: juno wat i mean kinetik: wen r dey cum viivadavis: i don't care

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September 23rd, 2009

Subject: make ya sweat, make ya scream, make you wish you'd never been Time: 05:11 pm

viivadavis: o yea and while i have your attention viivadavis: http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs274.snc1/10129_1156082859011_1135890579_30810222_2828599_n.jpg viivadavis: is that shirt worth 38 dolalrs viivadavis: like i really like how it looks on me and the stripes and the feeling of how flowy it is viivadavis: but i just don't know if that little piece of cloth is worth 38 urbla: i dunno, does it come with the ability to make your face look like you died 2 hours prior to wearing it, or no

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September 22nd, 2009

Time: 07:42 am

JuiceL4 (7:33:05 AM): gmornin viivadavis (7:33:09 AM): hello viivadavis (7:33:28 AM): is it bad to be happy that my ex boyfriend finally got what was coming to him and got his heart broken by someone else viivadavis (7:33:43 AM): and now he knows how it feels to have your trust broken by someone you love JuiceL4 (7:33:54 AM): i dont think thats bad JuiceL4 (7:34:00 AM): youre allowed to have ill will against someone viivadavis (7:34:17 AM): good viivadavis (7:34:31 AM): at the same time i'm kind of upset that it couldn't have been me, that i was never that important to him viivadavis (7:34:43 AM): but then i'm happy that now he had it happen to him viivadavis (7:34:59 AM): i had a scary dream JuiceL4 (7:35:07 AM): what was it viivadavis (7:35:13 AM): well viivadavis (7:36:20 AM): the dream was mainly in my head, i was just thinking about how scary death was, and how even if you didn't die a slow death, i'm sure every death is the worst pain you'll ever experience, even if it's only for a split second viivadavis (7:36:25 AM): and i got scared and didn't want to feel that viivadavis (7:36:30 AM): and i tried to think of ways to die that wouldn't hurt viivadavis (7:36:46 AM): and i thought, a lethal injection probably doesn't hurt, except for the prick of the needle viivadavis (7:36:59 AM): so i went to the doctor and told them i was depressed and wanted to die and get a lethal injection viivadavis (7:37:14 AM): so they wer like "ok" and they gave it to me and said i'd start feeling woozy and then eventually i'd fall asleep and never wake up viivadavis (7:37:36 AM): so i left viivadavis (7:37:46 AM): and i got on the bus home and i was like "yesss" viivadavis (7:37:51 AM): and then i started feeling woozy viivadavis (7:37:54 AM): and i started freaking out viivadavis (7:37:59 AM): and realized i didn't want to die yet viivadavis (7:38:03 AM): and so viivadavis (7:38:17 AM): i started looking up "lethal injection" on my phone to see what exact effects it would have on me viivadavis (7:38:31 AM): and it said i'd slowly start to get more and more tired, and i was getting more and more tired viivadavis (7:38:38 AM): so i walked up to the bus driver viivadavis (7:38:40 AM): and i asked him viivadavis (7:39:25 AM): "do you think that if someone went to their doctor and said that they were depressed and wanted to die, and asked for the lethal injection, the doctor would just say ok but then give them a placebo shot?" viivadavis (7:39:33 AM): and the bus driver was like wtf viivadavis (7:39:49 AM): and he was like "um i don't know, but this is the last stop" and it was like 61st street or something viivadavis (7:39:53 AM): which is way down in the ghetto viivadavis (7:40:03 AM): and then i woke up viivadavis (7:40:10 AM): two minutes before my alarm was about to ring!

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September 20th, 2009

Time: 04:56 pm

kinetik: i made a lizt of stuff we need kinetik: Kitchen: => Kitchen Vacuum Spice Containers => Kitchen Aerator => Broom => Plastic Recycling Bin => Coffee Maker/Burr Grinder => Kitchen Gadget Holder => Additional Plates => Bulk Paper Towels/Napkins (Costco?) => Bread Box => Salt/Pepper Grinders => Drink Coasters Master Bedroom: => Bedroom Set => Closet Organizer => (2) Table Lamps => (1) Floor Lamp/Torchiere => Curtains Bathrooms: => (2) New Shower Heads => (2) Bathroom Faucets/Aerators => Additional Towels => Bathroom Mats Living Room/Common Areas/Patio/Utilities: => Loveseat/Chair/Beanbag Chair => Patio Chairs/Table => Propane Grill => Vacuum Cleaner => Ice Mountain Delivery/Water Cooler => Candle Holders/Decorations => Plants/Flowers => Wall Art => Area Rug => Cleaning Solutions (Windex, 409, etc. - Costco?) => (3) Floor Lamps => Throw Pillows => Chest/Basket For Storage => Wall Clock(s) => Ottoman(s) Office/Desk/Electronics: => LCD TV (Nyla) => (2) HDMI Cables => Sun LCD Monitors => Monitor Stand => (2) DVRs/Cable Boxes => Wastebasket => Mounted Desk Lamp/Light Bar => Modesty Panel/Cable Organizer Reminders: => Bring LaserJet Printer kinetik: oh i ordered ice mountain water delivery, cause its like $24 a month, for 4x5 gallons including the dispenser thing, which dispenses hot and ice cold water kinetik: itll take up the extra space next to the bar stools kinetik: and will be useful for tea and for refilling my wat batz kinetik: cause like the kitchen faucet doesnt turn cold, i left it running for like 5 minutes to see if it would turn code kinetik: cold kinetik: and it dint viivadavis: um ok i dont need an lcd tv viivadavis: and are you and adrienne going to get dressers in ur womb kinetik: um kinetik: 1. do you want a tv at all in your room? 2. a bedroom "SET" includes a dresser, so asking that question makes you stupid kinetik: if you dont want a tv at all in ur womb thats fine kinetik: ill just send back the dvr thing viivadavis: ok i just skimmed your stupid list viivadavis: i dont have the attention span to actually read and interpret everything on it viivadavis: ok i want a tv viivadavis: but like viivadavis: i dont want you paying that much extra for a tv for me viivadavis: when i have one already kinetik: one that doesnt work. kinetik: lolz viivadavis: it works fine viivadavis: i can watch moviez on it kinetik: it wont work with the cable we have you fucking stupid spic kinetik: it wont work on ur tv you have now, and they dont even sell regular tvs anymore...they are all like LCD now. kinetik: lcd tvs are like $100 kinetik: http://www.walmart.com/Haier-22-Lcd-Hdtv/ip/10929998 kinetik: srzly if u werent so dum ud be more smart viivadavis: wat viivadavis: 100 is a lot kinetik: well yeah if you make $5 an hour, but its not that much if you consider the fact that you only buy a tv once every 4-5 years maybe viivadavis: ok i dont make $5/hr viivadavis: i make $6 kinetik: ok what a pointless argument to make kinetik: god kinetik: such a waste of time

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September 17th, 2009

Time: 11:06 pm

jamie: the last girls number i got was named jamie jamie: so didn't call her

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September 16th, 2009

Time: 09:24 am

viivadavis: i had a weird dream JuiceL4: what was it viivadavis: i was in a class in an auditorium with a bunch of people, and the teacher was making us watch a boring historical movie viivadavis: so some kid got up and started peeing in the corner viivadavis: and the teacher was like 'WHAT TH HELL ARE YOU DOING, GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE" viivadavis: so he left and then a girl got up and started peeing viivadavis: and she was like 'you want to try your luck, too? go to the principal's!' viivadavis: but she kept peeing viivadavis: so she could finish viivadavis: and then she left to go to the principal's office viivadavis: then one by one, people started coming up to pee in the corner viivadavis: and on the screen, it started showing their streams of pee instead of the movie viivadavis: and everyone was cheering viivadavis: and then the credits came on and everyone cheered some more and i was like "that was the best ending to a movie ever" viivadavis: and then i owke up

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September 14th, 2009

Time: 01:47 pm

viivadavis: this guy next to me is humming really high pitches and it is annoying nadia: at least you dont know anyone with turrets viivadavis: do u nadia: there was this girl in my computer class in college nadia: that had turrets nadia: and she would make noises while i was in the lab nadia: and everything was quiet nadia: she didnt swear or anything nadia: she would just go "eeep" "meep" nadia: eehp nadia: oohp nadia: sometimes it would startle me nadia: but i would pretend not to notice nadia: so i wouldnt hurt her feelings

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September 9th, 2009

Time: 05:59 pm

nadia: ok what a stupid little whore she like waits for me to come down so i can feed her even though i never do shes like starving to death im just waiting to clean up her corpse so i can use her room for my office nadia: that is what amir said about you

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September 8th, 2009

Time: 12:38 am

viivadavis: god that 70s show is barely ever funny Pvl: ya i never liked it Pvl: except for the dad viivadavis: especially fez, he is the least funny of them all Pvld: the robocop dad viivadavis: yeah the dad is coo viivadavis: and the sun viivadavis: son* viivadavis: nothing viivadavis: is sexier viivadavis: than a strong, toned body viivadavis: pvl you didn't do your push ups here Pvl: you didn't remind me viivadavis: that is not my job to remind you Pvl: i asked you to viivadavis: no Pvl: FINE Pvl: ill do em now viivadavis: good viivadavis: ill watch that 70s show Pvl: and hate yourself viivadavis: yes

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September 3rd, 2009

Time: 01:00 pm

viivadavis: my lab let out like two hours before it is scheduled to viivadavis: so i went to my friends room to use his bed for a nap viivadavis: and he didnt try to rape me viivadavis: so now i have a place i can sleep when im tired on campus nadia: good for you viivadavis: fine viivadavis: i see you dont care viivadavis: shows what kind of a sister you are viivadavis: there is a black hole in the ceiling almost right above me viivadavis: i could climb up into it if i wanted, cause the ceiling is really low nadia: there is probably a camera there nadia: watching you viivadavis: cause theyve been noticing sticky counters viivadavis: youre not supposed to eat near the computers and i eat my lunch here every day viivadavis: because i have no friends to eat with nadia: that was like me! nadia: youre growing up to be a fine specimen viivadavis: ugh

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September 2nd, 2009

Time: 11:16 am

viivadavis: ugh wtf viivadavis: some guy came up from behind me and said "excuse me" and it scared me viivadavis: and he just needed to take a sticker off thecomputer viivadavis: and now i forgot what i was doing nadia: god nadia: you are so scared of everything nadia: like one fo those hairless italian greyhounds viivadavis: what.

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